When Christmas feels difficult: Finding comfort in small ways
For many people, Christmas is a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. But for others, the season can feel heavy. If you’re living with illness, grieving the loss of someone dear, struggling with sadness, or simply far away from loved ones, Christmas can be a sharp reminder of what’s missing rather than what’s present.
The truth is: it’s okay if Christmas doesn’t feel merry. It’s okay if you’re not brimming with festive cheer. What matters is finding small, gentle ways to bring yourself comfort during this season. Here are five ways that might help:
1. Create your own rituals
You don’t have to celebrate Christmas in the traditional way if that feels too painful. Instead, choose small rituals that bring you peace. It could be lighting a candle for a loved one, writing them a card or letter, or taking a quiet walk. Rituals help us mark the season in a way that honours our feelings.
2. Seek connection in small doses
If big gatherings feel overwhelming, try connecting in more manageable ways. A short phone call, a heartfelt message, or even sharing a photo with someone you trust can remind you that you’re not alone. Connection doesn’t have to be loud or crowded, it can be gentle and just enough.
3. Allow yourself rest
Christmas often comes with pressure to 'do it all.' Give yourself permission to rest. That might mean saying no to events, curling up with a comforting film, or enjoying a quiet nap. Rest is not withdrawal it’s healing.
4. Notice the little joys
Even in difficult times, small moments can bring comfort: a warm drink, twinkling lights in a window, the sound of carols drifting by. Try to let yourself notice these tiny sparks of joy without needing to force them into something bigger.
5. Reach for support
It’s brave to ask for help when you’re struggling. Whether it’s talking with a friend, reaching out to a support group, or seeking professional guidance, remember you don’t need to carry your feelings alone. Support, in whatever form feels right, can ease the weight of the festive season.
Christmas may never feel the same after loss, illness, or distance. But by finding comfort in small, meaningful ways, you can move gently through the festive season on your own terms.
We just need to give ourselves permission.
